Talk You Way out of a Ticket?
Dear Meg,
I drive much faster than I know I should. If I get another speeding ticketI am going to lose my license. A girl in my office told me she sweet-talksher way out of tickets all the time because a lot of cops are men. LatelyI’ve noticed more women in blue. Any tips on how to talk my way out ofa ticket from the opposite sex?
—Kenny
My Dear Kenny,
My advice is to tell you to slow down and not be in such a rush allthe time. Take a deep breath. I am glad you’ve noticed afew more women on the force and your question is a timely one sinceMarch is International Women’s Month. I did some research on your queryand found some “tips” courtesy of Dick Dogger, a retiredTexas State Trooper in Dallas.
He recommends you use flattery, and suggests saying, “My, you havebeautiful eyes!” or “Nice earrings, officer!” Don’tforget to slip her a couple of $20s when she asks for your driver’slicense, he says. “Lady cops don’t make as much money asus guys so they’re happy to pick up the extra dough.” Lastly,Dogger suggests you feel free to lie through your teeth. Tell her you’respeeding because you’ve got to get to church to see your kid’splay. You’ll get off the hook “because female officers are moreunderstanding than us guys.”
I’m just passing this on, Kenny. I suspect ’ol Dick’scharm might be wearing thin and those “lady cops” are smarterthan he thinks. They may be giving him a pass because he used to bea brother in arms. I’d keep in mind that what flies in Texas doesn’tnecessarily sail so sweetly in Iowa, but a compliment usually brightens everyone’sday. Try and stay outta trouble, ya’ hear?
Love, Meg
Navigating Recruitment Lunches
Dear Meg,
I’m graduating from law school this spring and am beginning to be recruitedby some big firms in the corporate world. I have no idea how to behave duringthese interviews. What are these people looking for? They didn’t teachus anything about manners at the university I attended. Do you know anythingabout this?
— Sheila
My Dear Sheila,
Congratulations on finishing law school. That’s a big achievement.You have chosen an area to specialize in that appears to be going gangbustersthese days. Are you prescient? I am a bit surprised you never receivedany instruction in business or interviewing etiquette. This is an essentialskill in securing a good position in the professional world. Job-seekersneed to be on their Ps & Qs with potential employers. Donald Trump maybe making arrogance and bad behavior seem like good strategies on televisionbut, alas, television is not “reality,” no matter what you callit.
Many of your interviews will probably take place over lunch. The agendais to watch you maneuver your way through the meal. Small gestures at thetable can be indicative of future behavior in the business arena. If youfumble with your cutlery you might be judged as having little control overpsycho-motor skills and in need of costly medication; if you are nervous andfidget with food you risk being seen as suffering from a post-traumatic stressdisorder; and if you are more interested in your food than businessmatters you could be taken for a woman with a compulsive eating disorderin need of treatment. Any of these human frailties could wind up sneakingpast the insurance company physicians making you, in their eyes, morefinancial trouble than you are no doubt worth. Heavens to Betsy!
I’m being my usual irreverent self, Sheila, but only slightly. Youonly have a small window of time when the possibility of employment presentsitself. Try to have confidence in yourself and your abilities. You have nodoubt invested a hefty sum into your education. Why not invest a few moredollars in a course on business manners?
In the meantime, if you have any lunch interviews, don’t talk toomuch, chew with your mouth open, order any excessively expensive menu items,drink alcohol, or forget to thank the interviewers for their time and senda follow-up note restating your gratitude for the former.
If you’d like professional counseling, you have my email. Good luckand thanks for writing.
Love, Meg
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