We’re in the thick of it now. The bitter battle of the bulge. We’re crabby and we’re cold. Time for a midwinter warm-up.
A few years back, I was invited to a friend’s private steam sauna—an oasis of glowing orange light on a frigid winter night. Hand-built from wood, surrounded by snow, tucked away in his backyard garden, this seats-ten-people sauna was sublimely heated by a wood stove. A collection of essential oils were kept on standby, intermittently ladled with water onto a stovetop pan, sending up geysers of hot steam infused with the exquisite aromas of ylang ylang, orange blossom, and eucalyptus. The heat was heavenly, the fire mesmerizing, and after a few minutes I no longer cared that I was wearing a bathing suit in public. A few minutes more and I barely belonged to the earth anymore.
I floated out of the place on a wave of euphoric warmth. Still in the blissful bubble of my hour-long transportational, transformational roast, I drove home in a dream, senses alive, inner furnace churning, mind deeply relaxed. I couldn’t shake the visceral sensation that I’d just taken a tropical vacation.
Finding Some Fire
If you find yourself deep in winter’s doldrums, do yourself a solid and seek out some serious heat. Be it your friend’s sauna, your rec center’s steam room, or the spa, you may have some great options—at every price point—for getting hot.
Sweating it out sauna style is not only a great reset for mental well-being, it can also improve cardiovascular health, soothe sore muscles, ease joint pain, and detoxify your body while increasing circulation and reducing stress. That said, I’ve heard it professed by serious sauna goers that shifting from extreme heat to extreme cold is where the real magic happens when it comes to your health. So if you can stand it, try coupling your “saunic” blasts with intermittent frigidity—jump into the cool pool, take an icy shower, or go stand in the snow for five minutes before you dive back into the steam.
Infrared saunas are another great option, offering similar benefits but with lower air temperatures. Or, if your doc is worried about your ticker, try red-light therapy for some deep-tissue healing without the heat.
Hygge at Home
Hygge. We’ve all seen the word. And although we struggle to pronounce it,* we could all stand to adopt this Danish credo and reap its rewards, especially in January. Denmark.dk describes hygge, in brief, as “taking time away from the daily rush to be together with people you care about—or even by yourself—to relax and enjoy life’s quieter pleasures.” The hygge mindset includes convivial conversation, mindfulness, comforting activities, and cozy atmospheres that borderline on the sacred.
We tend to embrace some of these aspects in December … the sparkling lights, the mulled cider, and, in theory, the chestnuts roasting on an open fire, but it can be challenging to keep the magic and the warmth going well into the new year.
Don’t forget to gather. Keep it simple. Throw a popcorn party and create a passed-around poem or group drawing that takes on a life of its own. Through the ink of many pens, it will veer either into hilarity or the pleasantly profound.
Warm the room with a conversation game. The Moth (yes, the globally beloved storytelling institution) has created “A Game of Storytelling” for such occasions. Or try two new games literally titled “Hygge” and “Hygge Trivia,” suited for small gatherings, genuine connection, and all manner of things good for the heart.
That said, if forced gaming make you gag, at the very least foster friendships with people who have fireplaces. Offer to bring the hot toddies. Mmmmmmm, lemon, honey, clove, whiskey. If they weren’t your friends before, they will be after.
But in my book, there’s nothing wrong with some hygge-making of the home-alone variety. Nothing like a hot breakfast while you and the cat watch birds and squirrels at the backyard feeder. Put on your snow pants and shovel a perfect path for your postman. Bake something and give it away. Well, most of it.
If, like me, you don’t have a wood-burning stove or roaring fireplace, make your own fire. I’m a firm believer in keeping my outdoor holiday lights up until Valentine’s Day, or at least until the neighbors start rolling their eyes, and I find great comfort in keeping some twinkling lights going indoors, too. The pine-scented votive in the bathroom that gets burned at bath time. The set of flickering faux pillar candles on my coffee table that resume their glow every night at 5 p.m. The sparkly strand of white lights that live in a glass vase and warm the place up until spring. The “smart” bulbs in my living room fixtures that are programmed to glow the color of fire embers. Believe me, the place is far from fancy, but my budget-variety lighting hacks make me so very happy.
That said, six months ago I was not-so-happily diagnosed with a chronic dry-eye condition; basically, the rows of meibomian oil glands that keep my eyes lubricated and clean were on the verge of closing up shop—likely from years of being dehydrated and staring at screens. In addition to recommending drops and nighttime gels and omega 3, my eye doctor put me on a strict regimen of twice-daily heated eye-mask sessions.
Come last December, he was almost shocked—and definitely delighted—to discover that my diligent hot-mask-wearing “compliance” had turned the ship around on what was a very serious diagnosis. The magic of heat! Miraculous recovery aside, let me just say, the heat of my electric mask remains my new mood-soother. I set the timer for ten minutes, set the temperature to high, slip the silk-covered thingamajig over my eyes, and listen to (or more accurately fall asleep to) my favorite audiobook. I had no idea cooking my face could be so delicious.
Get Spicy
Speaking of delicious. It’s no mystery why cold-season pastries and oven-baked winter squashes begin to cozy up to the cinnamon, the nutmeg, and the ginger. These spices warm your body and keep things moving along—from dispersing congestion to aiding digestion. Add warmth to your winter dishes with anise, cardamom, and cayenne; black pepper, horseradish, and garlic. They’re antiviral, antioxidant, and anti-bland heat-making yum-yums.
Body Heat
You’ve heard of the phrase (and the band) Three Dog Night. It’s an idiom for a night so frigid, so bitterly cold you need three dogs under the blanket with you to make it till morning. Nothing like a little body heat for survival.
Body heat, body contact specifically, is lifesaving in other ways. too. Physical touch is so vital, in fact, that babies will fail to thrive—and even struggle to survive—without it. It’s absolutely essential for their development and well-being to be held and handled. And while the average adult may not die without physical touch, they might die a little inside. Yeah, we can all use a little human touch.
Jumping from A to Z, there’s sex, of course, which boasts all kinds of benefits—from improved heart health, stronger immune system, boosted brain function, longevity, and deeper sleep to elevated mental health and better self-esteem. Regular sexual activity even reduces the risk of certain kinds of cancer. Nice work if you can get it, right? For those who live alone, I hear you.
Not to get weird here, but seriously, when it comes to sex, you don’t need another body to get hot and hygge. Put on a chill playlist. Light the candles. Have a glass of wine. You fill in the blanks. Or keep it sweet and simple. Welcome in some warmth by doing some yoga, stretching, or sun salutes. Heat up some hot chocolate and prepare a hot foot bath. Then give yourself a damn hug for loving on yourself for once.
Along the lines of smile-inducing, switch gears and go give some touch. Time spent with the pups or kitties at your local shelter or pet cafe—like Paws & More in Washington, Iowa, or the Kitty Corner Social Club in downtown Iowa City—would be warming and wonderful for everyone involved.
If a furry friend just ain’t gonna cut it and you’re aching for more human touch than you’re getting, consider booking some sessions with a massage therapist, touch therapist, or cuddlist (a.k.a. professional cuddler). I’ve personally known at least two cuddlist practitioners in my life whose caring touch improved the emotional, mental, and even physical well-being of their clients. Your AI chatbot can’t cuddle you, but he/she/it can absolutely help you find a touch or massage therapist in your area.
It takes a special kind of soul to provide the gift of therapeutic touch while holding a space that’s relaxing, safe, and sacred. But, oh my, what a gift it is. Some folks swear by hot stone treatments, others prefer the firm pressure of feet and elbows. The massage therapist at my new local Cedar Rose Spa recently wowed me with a finale of hot towels: the first was draped over my heart in a gentle waterfall of warmth, and the second and third were wrapped snugly around my feet. These folks are angels among us, bringing healing … and bringing the heat.
I wish you all cozy-warm midwinters with steady doses of soul-soothing, heart-warming hygge. And if you’ve got extra sparkle to spare, thank you for the ways in which you share it with others.
*Struggling to pronounce “hygge”? Try first saying “her-ga,” but now pretend the “r” is silent. It’s similar to pronouncing “foot” or “soot.” If nothing else, watch the YouTube pronunciation videos created by actual Scandinavians.
